Can the “I” (Self / Awareness) also disappear in the deepest meditation?

Today I received this question from a video viewer. I thought that the question and answer are significant enough to post here.

Can the big space “I”- the blank I – also disappear, like everything that arises within it? In my experience, this “I” is the only thing I ever feel, and so in my seeking there is nothing left to do. However,
there is the lingering suspicion that this bubble that circumscribes the entire world can itself pop. If it can, is this something I can “choose” to do? It seems like this would not be the case, as any choice is a fleeting movement in the immutable “I.” Perhaps it will choose in its own time when to unravel itself?

Thank you so much, Love

My Answer: Hello George.

My experience is that in deep meditation, all forms recede into the Light of our Consciousness and only the singular Light of Consciousness remains. In this dimension, there is no mind activity – no reflective nature of a personal self. There is only the awareness of the Light as everything. There is no understanding of time or space. There is only being the unchanging Light. Once the understanding of “I am this” or “I am here” happens, this dimension fades from awareness because the personal self has returned.

I theoretically believe that there is a dimension of reality beyond this. I believe that this dimension does exist but have not consciously experienced this dimension. If the Light of Consciousness vanishes then there is no longer any form to be aware of. There would only be empty awareness. Without any “thing” to perceive, there is no experience happening. So there would never be knowledge of what this dimension is. There would only be the experience of going beyond the Light of Consciousness dimension and then returning to it….not knowing what happened during this lapse… if even a lapse is recognized because there is no self-reflective awareness (no personal self) in this Light of Consciousness dimension. Because I am not aware of any such lapse, I cannot say if I have ever experienced this theoretical dimension of Awareness alone. Maybe one day this will happen. I cannot say for sure.

I theoretically believe that this Awareness / “emptiness that perceives” cannot be removed. The expression of form arising inside of it can be removed but I doubt that It can be removed. When the forms are removed, including the Light of Consciousness dimension, then essentially nothing exists because nothing is experienced any longer. Everything has disappeared and it’s as if nothing ever was (because there is no form to be aware of, not even memory). Essentially though, this Awareness could not itself vanish – or else there is no other Power to recreate it. One could say that the Power is the Awareness. They are the same. By the rules of logic there must be one all-remaining “Source” that exists even when the forms exists. And this “Source” may know itself even when all the forms vanish. The “Source” cannot uncreate itself because there would be nothing to recreate it. So the Source must remain as the Awareness, yet have no experience when the forms all vanish. The Power is the Awareness.

We can take this theoretical argument and apply it to our personal experience and see that there are essentially 2 sides of Self / Source. There is the side with Awareness and Form – i.e., the Universe and all of it’s dimensions (causal, astral, material). This side will always exist as “the known” aspect of Self / Source. There is the side of Awareness without Form. This side will never have any experience but will always exist. This is the “unknowable” aspect. Both of these sides always exist in every moment. Yet only the “unknowable” side is absolute – meaning that it can never stop existing. Because it is unknowable it is a mystery, yet it is real. We will never understand It directly (as Awareness alone) but we can understand It because it exists with the Forms and therefore can be experienced. We experience ourselves as Awareness and the Forms within us. Form shows us that We exist.

I speedily typed this response to you. I hope that my words were clear. If I missed any parts or areas were unclear, please ask. If you’d like to share your experience. I will read and reply as time permits.

Blessings and Love

~ Lincoln


  1. Nikola says:

    In my experiance, logic and inteligence are based and operate in the mind. All the way. Everything I write here has to have some kind of logic, and reflect some kind of inteligence. If something is not logic, it doesn’t neceserally mean it does not exist. I see a logic as a car, to get from a to b. But that has no point if ‘space’ is not created, or if i want to enjoy ‘singing’. Same may hold “true” for direct experiance or seeing, for awareness. Why should we believe that from our personal self point we can or should obtain full “knowing and awareness” of all dimensions. What if, like all this limitation of the mind that is in our experiance and is perceived trough awareness, also is present limitation of the awareness, that can(or can not, why can) be “perceived” with something that is beyond logic and is not form, nor awareness, and not nothing, just is on the greater scale, or just diffrent scale or even the same scale. What if the law that “something has to create something” is broken, including creation of the forms that are eternal, beyond time and always present. Well known sufi teacher says that God is and include also the aspect that is beyond our idea of beyond.

    Even this idea and direct experiance of progression on the level beyond “manifest” progression can be transcended. I don’t think that life is like a video game and you can get to the final level and then game over you are done. This thinking is limited and exists because we perceive the evolution of forms around us. This evolution is true, but it says nothing about life and awareness if we break the mimicing habit(law). I understand that this mimicing already is created in the manifest worlds but still it doesn’t have to mean anything. This has no end.
    But however I strongly believe that there is a point where no “questions” are asked and is not determent by so called “depth” of the experiance.

  2. Colin says:

    Happy new year Lincoln. I hope it is an absolutely wonderful one for you.

    This writing reminds me of Tom Campbell who was a former disciple of Bob Monroe. He too believes consciousness is absolutely fundamental at least to the limits of possible human understanding.

    In his model of the world evolution of the” quality” of consciousness is the sole reason that this universe exists.Maybe even all of existence I don’t remember.

    Quality being becoming more loving, caring, compassionate, etc.

    I don’t know if I agree or disagree with him, but I do know for a fact that divine love is the greatest thing ever.

Leave a Comment